Babywearing with Jess

I didn’t babywear today…

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For the first time since my youngest son was born eight months ago, I didn’t wear him at all today.

This weekend I have been hiding away from my kids and husband busily working on renovations in the wee cottage we have on our property. Painting and home renovations are very therapeutic to me; I am an “active relaxer” and in order for me to clear my mind, I need to be really engaged in something physically to give my brain space to think.

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Renovations in progress! Thanks to Mr 3 for helping pick the colours 😊

As I was contemplating that very thought, it occurred to me that renovations & home DIY stuff has been something I have turned to everytime I have been faced with something that seemed too big to handle.. When my Dad died, I completely renovated my house before renting it out. When his mum, my Nanna, passed away not that long after, I renovated my now husband’s family property. When I had a miscarriage not long after that, I retreated without my husband and son, to the new property which we had just bought and did all kinds of renovations there..

Maybe it is something about the old state of things being restored and renewed that helps me process and move forward from things. I always seem to have a sense of completion or I guess a kind of closure on that chapter of my life once I have physically finished the project..

Anyhow, as I was painting and thinking and processing and healing, a few conversations I have had recently with some of my beautiful mama friends kept coming back to me… And then this meme made its way into my newsfeed…

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Then the thought occurred to me that I think sometimes, I might be quite good at hiding it! 😉

Yes at the moment, I wear my kids quite a lot; yes I also breastfeed on the go with my youngest in a sling or wrap quite often; yes my youngest will happily “wrapnap” on me amongst chaos and noise; and yes, because my big boy has been carried a lot of his short life too, I sometime wear both of them at the same time! But we do this because it works for us and that’s not the same for others, and nor should it be.. Besides, just cause that’s what people see, doesn’t make it our constant reality, nor is it without its downsides…

The fact is babywearing is just a parenting tool, one I am very passionate about, but it is also a workout! Carrying around 10kgs strapped to me for usually at least a few hours a day for the last eight months has taken its toll on my body and I am starting again to have issues with old injuries after many years without thinking of them. Breastfeeding on the go is bloody draining, not to mention dehydrating, especially in this crazy hot weather! And if I don’t make self care and listening to my body a priority I am prone to getting “touched out” & snapping at everyone (I know this not because I am great at doing self care but more because I am actively trying to get better at NOT doing the latter)…

I was going to write more about Babywearing Self Care but think that probably deserves it’s own post… My point was more that those things are just the way we have best worked out how to cope with this transition to a family of four…

You may wish that your baby would breastfeed or nap in a carrier like mine, but I wish my baby would sleep without me beside him somewhere besides the hammock he has outgrown and yet we continue to try stuff him into! You may think it’s impressive that I will tandem wear my children, I am impressed your three year old will actually hold onto you when you piggy back them! It’s all perception and perspective…

We recognise each others strengths as parents, but how often do we forget all that shit and just pat ourselves on the back for the awesome stuff we do for our own kids?!

Comparison and self criticism seems to come with the territory with motherhood in my experience and yet we do ourselves no favours with it. Recognise the awesome shit other mums do, tell them about it & remind them they are awesome (we should tell each other more often I think!) but then do the same for yourself.

You are awesome, you do amazing things for your kids and your family, don’t let anyone (or yourself for that matter!) make you compare or question otherwise!

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3 thoughts on “I didn’t babywear today…

  1. This is a great read 😍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: “Accelerated Bonding” and Josh the velcro baby | Babywearing with Jess

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