Ideally in a carrier, you want to be making an “M” shape with their legs and bum, with the bum the bottom bit of the m…
Ignore the fact my baby is off centre in this photo, he was breastfeeding (this kid is pretty constantly attached to my boob!).. But you can see how he is creating a “M” shape at the bottom, like a seat, his bum is where most of the weight sits, but his legs are also supported knee to knee, making his hips rotate outwards and spreading the weight.
Unfortunately, still alot the carriers stocked by big name baby shops are narrow based and leave baby’s weight resting in the crotch, hence why they have come to have the name in the babywearing world of “crotch danglers”…
At a sling meet today a lady sheepishly said to me, “I bought this kind of carrier before I knew much about babywearing”, she seemed shocked when I replied, “yep that’s the exact same brand we first ever had too!”
But it’s hard when big chains stock a limited range, many narrow or otherwise limited options and the world of babywearing is a hard one to delve into!
You will both most comfortable in something that spreads the weight of baby and acts as a seat rather than like a harness. When baby is supported knee to knee, with the majority of thier weight “seated” in their bum, you will have a more comfortable carry regardless of babywearing option or style chosen.
Honestly though, again I would say, baby carriers are like clothes, what suits one person’s size/style/preferences is very different to another. Try before you buy in every case possible!
There is also concern often around this issue of hip dysplasia. Correct positioning in a carrier can actually help reduce hip issues – http://hipdysplasia.org/baby-wearing/
Because my youngest has been worn everyday of his short life so far, he naturally adopts this pose when I hold him..
He had just fallen asleep on me in this picture 😍
Even though I am just holding his bum in this photo, notice how his knees are raised and his hips are rotated outwards, wrapping around me almost.. That’s the position you want a carrier to hold your baby in 🙂