Babywearing with Jess

The top 5 good & bad things to fracturing your ribs as a mum

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Its been a hard time with anniversaries and injuries and all the rest of it for me and I needed to take a break from sulking and feeling sorry for myself and try find a silver lining and some fun to this situation I’ve found myself in, so I called in a friend… This was after I had to the big girl brave thing and put my hand up publically on facebook and say please help friends!

Ii wasn’t so much for me, but I was worried about my husband and kids, I had to say “help guys, I can’t support my kids and husband at the moment and I need your help”.  Being the primary caregiver is one thing, taking full care of the kids night and day while your wife is hiding away to heal in a separate dwelling is quite another.. ‘

And our beautiful friends stepped up. One cam over with her kids to help James entertain the boys, another brought a massive load of groceries and pre-packaged meal options over to help him feed us all. I am massively grateful.

And I’ve enjoyed my time out, don’t get me wrong but yesterday my doctor told me I needed to take at least a minimum of three more weeks off “all work activities”, well… I am a mum to two pre-schoolers and a business owner.. I can’t even process or in any way “action” that kind of statement and the kids don’t accept medical certificates as a reason not to climb on me..

So when my friend came over to check on me, not James and the kids, well she found me in a sulky state to say the least.. We’ve been through a lot together, she knew I needed to highlight the silver linings for myself and then flowers arrived on my doorstep (of my secret little healing den I have created in our separate dwelling) and we decided while there was definitely a list of “downsides” to fracturing several ribs as a mum and business owner, there where certainly some upsides too… So here they are, my top five least and most favourite things about having an accident causing “severe rib fractures”…

 

Out of action until at least Feb....jpg

 

(First of all starting with a disclaimer, this is my experience and my story of fracturing several ribs in an accident as a mum, this will not, nor should it be the same for every mum, it is meant to be light hearted please take it with a grain of salt)…

But here are my five top least favourite things about fractured ribs:

  1. No sudden movements: that means sex, moving quickly of any kind, chasing wayward kids, all this kind of action normally taken for granted, off the table my friend… I tried, it hurts.. Don’t do it…
  2. Any kind of diaphragm activity; breathing, coughing, sneezing, laughing, crying, hiccupping.. it is all agony, to be avoided it at all costs…
  3. Restricted movement; from how you lay or get out of bed, getting dressed, everything… even for example, I couldn’t reach my glass of wine while writing this point and needed the seven month pregnant Amanda who is also not currently known for her swift movements, (hello seven months pregnant) to get it for me cause it hurt too much for me to reach it…
  4. Loss of independence – beyond not being able to reach things for myself, I can’t really drive and/or have regular range of movements and have gone from generally someone who cared for others (my kids) to someone who needs caring from others.. that’s a bit of a hard pride thing to suck up..
  5. Quiet time – this appears on the positives list too but I miss being around my kids, this time of year is meant to be about hanging out with them and having summer adventures, but last time I did even hang with my kids for an hour, Jai unintentionally head butted me in the sternum and Josh ran into me head butting me square in the chest, I need space to heal but it’s easy to get lonely too.. Again for friends like Amanda who help me keep sane and keep me company during this time I am eternally grateful..

 

And my oh my, there are pretty clear silver lining to this dish destiny served me that are evident already and thanks again to Amanda for helping me see the lighter side, so here is my top five favourite things about fractured ribs…

  1. Sleeping without kids… we cosleep, I have blogged before about my struggles to sleep with restless kids and feel rested myself, the 100% legitimate reason (I’m on pain meds temporarily that mean I can’t cosleep with you) has been the boundary all of us needed, me included, to just hide for night in a separate space (my poor husband – I don’t know how I will cope with interrupted sleep again when we go back to normal!! Eeek!)
  2. Pain meds – just like being alone they are both a blessing and a cure, every time I try to do some work my brain is just too foggy, forcing me to write for the love of it or paint… things you are kinda meant to do when healing and relaxing I guess but for a workaholic like me, these bad boys enforce it.. and I can’t skip them or that whole diaphragm activity agony is just too much to deal with so…
  3. Quiet, healing time – holistic shit, you know the whole package… its like a dream to have a reason to have time to ourselves long enough to deal with looking after us I’m sure for most of us… I am reminded of that scene in Bad Mom’s where she fantasises about being in a car crash, just mild one, but enough to leave her in hospital for a few days… yeah there is an element of that haha
  4. Me time – self-care is so bloody hard for us to prioritise to ourselves right.. even if people support you to make time for it, if you are anything like me it always comes bottom of the list. Yeah well, right now it can’t and while I could break out into song here (and did while discussing this in person with Amanda), I guess all that’s needed is “what about me?!”
  5. In a completely non materialistic sense, but presents! Christmas is about the kids right? Birthdays as an adult, well if its not a big milestone, you get some messages on your phone and fb page and that’s it… being injured? Fuck I got flowers for the first time in ages while Amanda was here from other generous friends of ours looking out for me. The focus on me, that’s not something intrinsically comfortable as a mum and in no other situation bar one where I am literally physically limited in my capacity and cant help with the kids, would I put myself first in the same way.. As James keeps reminding me, if I don’t take the time to heal, it will cause more “time off” or away from the kids later so I need to, its in all our best interests…

In the meantime I will focus on the top five favourites not the least favs, but don’t any of ya go throwing yourself down stairs to get a sleep alone at night (I don’t think it would have had such spectacular results had I tried plan it btw)…

Use your tribes support when they offer it, remember self care is important, remember to remind yourself that.. ❤

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