Babywearing with Jess


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Comparisons to child birth- is it the same as a kick in the nuts…?

 

There is this fascination to comparing levels of pain to childbirth.

“Does it hurt more than giving birth??” I was asked yesterday…. Ummm…

 

Look this concept is a little bit fuct to me in the first place as for my last labour I put a lot of time and effort into concepts of hypnobirthing and replacing words like “pain” to “intensity” in my mind, much like I did “wave” or “tightening” in lieu of “contraction”, so for me, the overwhelming memories of my last labour weren’t ones overly focused on being painful at all.

 

Sure it was fucken intense. There were definitely moments of pain and discomfort (mainly the bumps on the drive to the hospital and the nurse making me sit still to put in the line for a blood transfusion in case I needed it as a pre-emptive move as I haemorrhaged post birth with Josh). But mainly it was just intense.

 

But like when you have an ecstasy pill at some party in your twenties and you don’t really know what to do with all the energy and intensity going through your body. And it’s overwhelming as fuck and you need someone to rub your back and tell you “it’s ok. It’s all ok”. And give you water and take you away from the dance party to somewhere more quiet and chilled…

 

Except maybe in the birth example, the shower & some essential oils or whatever your happy place is and some gas and air is probably more appropriate…

 

And when I hear the comparison to being kicked in the nuts, well I’m not sure it’s even the same “centre” of intensity… I’m hypothesising here and obviously I could never truly know as I don’t have testicles. But, I’ve been thinking about pain and injury and “intensity” and how that is effected by which chakra it occurs closest to.

 

So in the case of the birth example, again I am just hypothesising based off my own experience, but when I think of the “chakra of intensity” it was located around my womb, as it was largely for the most part of my labour the womb itself “contracting” or “tightening” if you will.. To me, that seems to be located more around the sacral chakra.

 

When I read in this book that the element for this chakra was water that totally made sense to me. All of my visualisations for birth revolved around water, most of Jai’s labour was spent in the bath or shower.

 

Also the connection of this chakra to the adrenals as the endocrine gland associated made sense to me in terms of what I know to be key to the birthing process in terms of hormones and stress impacts and all that jazz.

 

My point is, despite not having “nuts”, I would assume “pain” or “intensity” in that area could be more likely to be located in the base chakra, where the endocrine gland is the testes/ovaries…

 

But that is just a guess and me pondering anyhow…

 

What I do know is that I was thinking about this concept and considering reading and learning more about chakras for a while now. Long before I munted my ribs in this accident..

 

It was actually open for some reason on the laptop screen in the kitchen on day a few weeks back, just the Wikipedia page for chakras which had the picture that depicted seven points indicated by light.

 

 

Josh asked, “what’s that a picture of?”

 

I was engrossed in another activity when I heard James reply, “oh that’s a picture about chakras, I don’t really know much about them… I know they have different names… hmmm” as he was quickly trying to skim read the Wikipedia page trying to find a way to sum up extensive ancient teaching and wisdom in a way that made it still potentially interesting to a curious four year old.

 

In our house we don’t prescribe to a particular faith or religion but we are almost the opposite to what many people think of when that statement is made. In a way, we prescribe to all of them but just a little bit, but I guess the bush, nature, that’s our temple.

 

Anyway, we’ve always been open to many different takes on faith and interpretations on the way the world works.

 

When I heard Josh and James mention chakras I instinctively turned around and said, “well I don’t really remember the names for them but this one at the bottom is about this…” and ran through my “idiots guide” which probably butchered all proper and through meaning but surprised even myself that I had some concept of all of them.

 

And when I got to the last one, I justified it with a, “ummm, at least, I THINK that’s what they all mean…” and went back to what I was doing.

 

James stood a little wide eyed for a few moments and said, “Wow babe, I had no idea you knew so much about chakras! Where do you know all that from?”

 

“Um, maybe an xbox game I had about meditation years ago? Hahaha I dunno!”

 

But the experience set my resolve again to explore this concept more. My interest grew again.

 

And then I fuct my ribs. I was saying to my friend, “it feels like I’ve hurt myself properly, like right in the heart chakra, you know..?”

 

And being the open minded, wise beyond her years, lived through more than her fair share of stuff self, she didn’t bat an eyelid. She was like, “yep, and now you have to heal all of it for six weeks.”

 

“Ohh, well, pfht, do you have a book about chakras then?!” I replied.

 

And she pulled out this.

 

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The Chakra Bible by Patricia Mercier.

 

I read it for half an hour, had tagged and bookmarked everywhere and truly do think there is something to this whole concept of focusing on the chakra close to the “hurt” or “intensity” when healing…

 

Fuck it probably even has some new age term or name – if it does,  I don’t know it, but why would I? I only just started reading this one book about chakras now?! Hahaha

 

It’s a belief shaped through thousands of years with history from numerous cultures and religions which I am just starting to learn about…

 

But in answer to the question, does giving birth even remotely resemble being kicked in the nuts, or even smashing several ribs for that matter?

 

Not even remotely if you ask me.

 

Again I can’t talk for the nuts situation but this pain in my ribs is heaps worse than childbirth. And there isn’t the awesome hormone roller coaster to ride or the little person at the end of it.

 

Just pain and discomfort, popping when I breathe and feeling incapable of supporting my husband to care for our kids. Thank god for support networks and all our generous and loving friends who have stepped up to offer us help.

 

Not quite the way I planned to “launch myself into the New Year” but feeling grateful never the less.

And again No, being kicked in the nuts is not comparable to birthing a baby.. Just in case you missed that part 😉

 

 

 

 


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I didn’t babywear today…

For the first time since my youngest son was born eight months ago, I didn’t wear him at all today.

This weekend I have been hiding away from my kids and husband busily working on renovations in the wee cottage we have on our property. Painting and home renovations are very therapeutic to me; I am an “active relaxer” and in order for me to clear my mind, I need to be really engaged in something physically to give my brain space to think.

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Renovations in progress! Thanks to Mr 3 for helping pick the colours 😊

As I was contemplating that very thought, it occurred to me that renovations & home DIY stuff has been something I have turned to everytime I have been faced with something that seemed too big to handle.. When my Dad died, I completely renovated my house before renting it out. When his mum, my Nanna, passed away not that long after, I renovated my now husband’s family property. When I had a miscarriage not long after that, I retreated without my husband and son, to the new property which we had just bought and did all kinds of renovations there..

Maybe it is something about the old state of things being restored and renewed that helps me process and move forward from things. I always seem to have a sense of completion or I guess a kind of closure on that chapter of my life once I have physically finished the project..

Anyhow, as I was painting and thinking and processing and healing, a few conversations I have had recently with some of my beautiful mama friends kept coming back to me… And then this meme made its way into my newsfeed…

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Then the thought occurred to me that I think sometimes, I might be quite good at hiding it! 😉

Yes at the moment, I wear my kids quite a lot; yes I also breastfeed on the go with my youngest in a sling or wrap quite often; yes my youngest will happily “wrapnap” on me amongst chaos and noise; and yes, because my big boy has been carried a lot of his short life too, I sometime wear both of them at the same time! But we do this because it works for us and that’s not the same for others, and nor should it be.. Besides, just cause that’s what people see, doesn’t make it our constant reality, nor is it without its downsides…

The fact is babywearing is just a parenting tool, one I am very passionate about, but it is also a workout! Carrying around 10kgs strapped to me for usually at least a few hours a day for the last eight months has taken its toll on my body and I am starting again to have issues with old injuries after many years without thinking of them. Breastfeeding on the go is bloody draining, not to mention dehydrating, especially in this crazy hot weather! And if I don’t make self care and listening to my body a priority I am prone to getting “touched out” & snapping at everyone (I know this not because I am great at doing self care but more because I am actively trying to get better at NOT doing the latter)…

I was going to write more about Babywearing Self Care but think that probably deserves it’s own post… My point was more that those things are just the way we have best worked out how to cope with this transition to a family of four…

You may wish that your baby would breastfeed or nap in a carrier like mine, but I wish my baby would sleep without me beside him somewhere besides the hammock he has outgrown and yet we continue to try stuff him into! You may think it’s impressive that I will tandem wear my children, I am impressed your three year old will actually hold onto you when you piggy back them! It’s all perception and perspective…

We recognise each others strengths as parents, but how often do we forget all that shit and just pat ourselves on the back for the awesome stuff we do for our own kids?!

Comparison and self criticism seems to come with the territory with motherhood in my experience and yet we do ourselves no favours with it. Recognise the awesome shit other mums do, tell them about it & remind them they are awesome (we should tell each other more often I think!) but then do the same for yourself.

You are awesome, you do amazing things for your kids and your family, don’t let anyone (or yourself for that matter!) make you compare or question otherwise!

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